Hello Future

Are you afraid of spiders? If yes, you are not alone. I have seen big, bulky, guys go weak in the knees at the sight of those eight legged arachnids. Perhaps you have a fear of heights; or maybe it’s speaking in public that gives you the willies. Though I don’t personally struggle with those three, (in fact Dale used to yell for ME to come kill a spider 🙂 ) I do have a fear that tries to cast a shadow on my life: The future.

I have seen the end of life, and it ain’t pretty. I’ve already had a taste of the cruelty of old age. I spent nine months walking the halls of a nursing home with Dale. When I close my eyes I can still see and hear and smell it. I’ve been inside the casket room of a funeral home. It is a surreal experience.

I have discovered in recent conversations, that I am not alone in my struggle against this fear. Many look at the future with concern. Questions like: will I have enough money, who will take care of me, what diseases are coming, and worries about family all want to steal our sleep and peace of mind. But I am also convinced that this fear is an enemy that we must actively fight. In Matthew six, we are told repeatedly not to worry…(v27) “who by worry can add a single hour to his life”. Fearing tomorrow steals the joy of today.

So how do we fight this persistent foe? Isaiah 26:3 says that, “you (God) will keep in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you. Because he trusts in you.” Every day, even every hour, we make active choices in what we think about and what we listen to. My parents always said , “what you feed grows, and what you starve dies.” What are you feeding? Who are you trusting? We have a heavenly father who knows our future and what we will need.

When I look back on the last nine months of Dale’s life, I am filled with wonder. I wonder how I endured the daily sorrow. I would go home after work to let the dogs out and grab a quick bite to eat. Then I would get to the nursing home in time to help with dinner. After dinner we would walk the halls until bedtime. It ripped my heart out every single night to drive home without him. It is a sorrow I hope none of you ever face, yet, I am amazed at the grace he gave me to walk that incredibly painful road. And that is the key: GRACE! He only gives grace when we need it.

Is there going to be more sadness in my future? Undoubtedly yes, we live in a fallen world. But the good news is that He has promised to be with us “even to the end of the age.” He is our comforter and companion and he bestows grace in our time of need. Therefore, I can look to the future with hope and expectation, because He is already there! Hello future!