Encounter

This past Easter morning I had an encounter with the Lord that will mark me for the rest of my life. I woke up extra early with almost the feeling of electricity in my spirit. It was stronger than anything I had ever felt and I knew God wanted to speak to me. I jumped out of bed, fearful that his presence would leave, and raced to my journal. Almost immediately the words began to flow. In his loving kindness, he healed a wound in my heart that has been tender since Dale’s death. It all started with a bookmark.

About a year after Dale’s diagnosis, our home group made bookmarks to go in our Bibles. We wrote a personal goal for the year and also those of our group members. The object was to regularly read them and pray over them. Dale simply wrote, “overcome Alzheimer’s”. We tucked the bookmark in his dresser mirror where it remains to this this day. Dale always looked with expectation for a miracle. He believed that God was going to use this for his glory, and he considered it “a privilege” to be used.

After Dale’s death I looked at that bookmark with disdain. It felt like an epic fail! In fact I almost threw it out, but it was a piece of him, so I kept it. It has been in my view every day, and often I feel the prick of sorrow and disappointment. So it is with this background that I awoke this past Sunday. This is what I felt the Lord say to me on Easter/Resurrection morning:

“ Overcome – I overcame by dying! It looked like failure, it reeked of despair, but that was only from the human view. Heaven sees differently! I promised that you would have tribulation in this world, but that I have overcome it and therefore so have you. Some overcome by living – some by dying. Paul said, “to die is gain.” Some have jobs on Earth, while others have assignments in Heaven. I overcame death so you would never experience it. What you call death is just a portal, a step from one dimension to another. Your spirit is released, free of Earthly bounds. It is with great joy that I wait at that spiritual door to greet you face to face. To be with me is to be fully alive. Dale overcame by facing Alzheimer’s from a position of surrender! He surrendered to me his life and will and declared it a privilege.”

When we surrender we overcome, no matter the outcome. Our job is to obey to the best of our ability and believe that eventually He will make all things right. Some answers, many answers, we won’t get on this side of Heaven. I have made peace with living with mystery. We have a good Father!